So it's been a few weeks now, since I've put a stop to me playing FFXI. And for the most part its been going smoothly. I've been going out and experiencing life away from the game. I even had a few friends convince me to go to, what they call a lan party, which I've never heard of until now. A party where everyone brings their laptops and plays games all night, kind of similar to what I used to do.. only the games they played were mostly first person shooters. Which I horrendously sucked at, but it was still a lot of fun. I did get some respect back when we played Starcraft, since I had more experience with that game.
However, every night when I get home, I look over at my computer and still have that desire to log on. To join the fantasy world of Vana'diel, to get on and connect with a completely different group of people. People who I've known and played with for years, my friends who I'd be happy to see and (most of them) I'm sure happy to see me. It's hard not to log on, just yesterday when I was briefly on to deliver some gil, it's hard to ignore my friends saying they want me to come back. It's hard to walk around for awhile and not wish I could be part of it again. It's hard listening to people asking for help and knowing full well I could be the one to assist them but resisting the urge to do so. And this all happened during the 15 minutes I was on that day.
I mentioned this in my last post
"Play casually? That's not possible. There is absolutely no way I can play FFXI without being hooked and wanting to play more. Even when I tell myself I want to stop, I can end up playing into the late hours of the night and into the next day. The game just has that much of a hold on me at times."I still agree with this to some extent. But I have begun to wonder, maybe it is possible to balance FFXI and the other things in my life. If I can not log on FFXI to play for this long (3 weeks now), it shows I do have some willpower against the game, even though that desire to play is still there. But between work, going out, and once September comes around, school, will playing FFXI even be an option? If I can stop myself from playing FFXI now, I should be able to do it once school comes around if the need arises.
I don't know anymore. I knew by not playing, it would make me want to play more. But I always thought as I began to do more and more things away from FFXI, you know in that so-called real world, I would want to play less and less. For awhile that was exactly the case, but now I seem to have regressed back to an earlier stage in the withdrawal. I'm beginning to think I should just start playing again until school rolls around this September. Then work on getting off the game so I don't make the same mistake I made last school year. But we'll see.
Doc and I sightseeing atop the mountain in A. Chasm
Look at little Josearu, his only crime was being born poor. By only giving 30 gil a day you can make sure he has enough to eat, a chocobo stable over his head, and a vermy cloak. "Pweesaru Mistuh I'm so hungy!" - Josearu
4 comments:
It's tough to decide, go with what's best for you in the long run. It is the only thing I can say :(.
Cold's right, you have to do what's best for you. Would I prefer you stay? Yes of course, how could I not? If you do decide to leave, you'll know that you actually accomplished something the majority of FFXI's populace never could.
I have been keeping up with MA times and Houz has been keeping me informed of how things are with ya.
Before I begin, I want to apologize since I have procrastinated writing anything thoughtful to your previous post on the technicality of fatigue. Seems everytime I read FFXI blogs, I'm on the verge of sleep... tonite is also once such case. =/
The choice to stay or to quit is yours and yours alone to decide. You should do what you feel makes you more happy and better off in the end. However, if you are questioning "balance" then hopefully I can give you some of my insight.
Last semster was literally hell for me. I was the President of CASA (comparable to 50hr job), I was taking the hardest class in my major, and I was going thru a break up with my ex-. However, within that time, I still managed to spend some time playing FFXI. Perhaps not everyday, or every other day. But, I managed to sign on during one night a weekend, to do something little but thoughtful.
You know what's crazy? I pulled a 4.0 Spring.
To myself, FFXI is not a game - but a medium for me to talk to friends, be with friends whom I am not fortunate to live close to. Yukimu lives 1.5 hrs away. Houz lives 4.5 hrs away.
The best thing bout FFXI is that, every little bit adds growth to your character. You level one level a week. So what? In one semester you'll have one kick ass lvl XX. You know of me as the Slime Oil farmer. In fact, I'm studying at Starbucks with FFXI open in a tiny window so I can say hi to people in the LS.
The enjoyment that I get from life is a fine balance between real life and FFXI life. The largest accomplishments in FFXI would have no meaning if my real life was suffering. This also applies vice versa.
Take some time, breathe in. You are not commited to playing FFXI 24/7. I understand like a parent, you want to be there for us - but also evalaute your life. Is FFXI harmful to what you want to do? Is there an area you want to focus more time to?
I'm sorry if I rambled Kyss. I kinda know this feeling all too well. Whatever you decide, do it for your own happiness. I'd say go out with friends, laugh and smile over dinner, kick ass in life!
Truce here.
Go to church. God has the answers you seek. For in Him all answers to all questions can be found. Let Him be your guide.
Ha! Actually, I just wanted to chime in and say that I have to agree with Hyo. (Hi, Hyo!) Go with what makes you happy. If you're finding solace in old friends who you haven't spent time with in months, by all means, continue your hiatus from the game and keep hanging out with them. Hell, you might find that you'll start to miss the game less and less.
Obviously, you'll miss the people. Though, that's what Al Gore created the internet for, right? Just keep in touch. (Not like me. :P)
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